Tough times

Gack. What a week!

I succumbed to my first proper binge on Friday since the New Year. It started when I parked at the local supermarket. I went there just to use the parking, as it was a short walk from there into town. Unfortunately on the way back I felt "obliged" to use the supermarket itself. One of those stupid ideas I have about being "fair". I've used your car park : in return I should do at least some shopping at the store.

Now the store in question is Waitrose. Which is probably the most expensive supermarket chain in the UK. Most essentials there cost at least 25% more than at my usual store. So often when I go there I treat myself to the premium brand of something. If I'm going to spend more, my argument is, then I may as well go for quality, and get a brand that I cant usually get elsewhere.

It's not like I had anything I wanted to buy in the first place. So I was only going in because I felt I "had to".

Stupid stupid. In this case I ended up in the chocolate aisle looking at the posh Easter Eggs. And from there went on to the chocolate bar section. It went downhill from there...

(The binge :

1 posh white chocolate Easter Egg - yes I know - well before Easter..
1 large bar white chocolate with raspberry - obviously I was craving white chocolate
1 family pack cheese and onion crisps
6 chocolate Waitrose chocolate snack bars
-oh and later - 1 bottle of real ale ..

)

I was thinking yesterday what caused the binge. Apart from my weird mental logic.

I guess I've had a low level of depression going on this week. The joblessness seems to go on and on, and I have been less and less inclined to apply. I need to make decisions about what to do this summer. Mostly - should I sell/rent out the house and move on? So I was getting myself in panic mode and the binge probably became inevitable.

Another thing was that recently my body has been feeling pretty wrecked. Constant exercising since January has taken its toll. Last week I had really sore calves : before that shin splints. I didnt want to skip exercise sessions though. So I've been working on through the pain. Maybe again the bingeing was a way of telling me I do have to take it easier.

Since Friday I've had a few more binges. Hopefully as I become clearer about my future plans, I'll be able to stop them. But for now, all I can do is hold on tight and try to remember what I've achieved so far...

Oh : and my weigh in this week (before the bingeing) was no change. That didnt help ;)

Weigh in : 19 Mar 209 lb